Bar Time!
by TheGirlWithNoIQ
Summary: Yeah... the Akatsuki-members is in a bar, surprisingly and weirdly enough in Konoha. Who knows why? Try to imagine them inside this bar, drunk... And then you will understand why this one-shot is rated T...


Do you love the Akatsuki as much as I do? Lol, since you're here now I guess so;)

This is just pure crack...though crack I enjoyed writing!XD

When reading, try to imagine the Akatsuki-members doing what it says they do...my writing isn't the best so I bet you wouldn't enjoy it as much without imagining/picturing...

Read and ENJOY~!

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In a bar in the busy Konoha one late night, a lot of people were having a lovely time. Alcohol was in everyone's system, maybe a bit too much… beer bottle and wine was seen literally flying through the sky, and bar fights or a drunken person's lap-dance was not a strange sight for the Akatsuki members that had decided to come.

Everyone, even the Leader, Konan, Itachi and Kakuzu who rarely left the hideout other than missions and heavenly important meetings, was seen with one of the largest bottles of beer in a good grip, although starting to have troubles holding it without the drink to spill out.

The other members began wondering how Tobi got a beer, but after drinking (stealing, although claiming he was a good boy while doing it) some of Deidara's drink when he wasn't looking, Tobi began sounding more mature as more as he drank, and started calling himself 'Madara' much to the others confusion. He even stopped talking in third-person!

Ordering another round, the fifth for the night, things happened.

"You know I have always loved you…you just make it very difficult to…"

"Eh… Hidan, who are you talking to?" Kisame asked, somehow uneasy by what he heard.

The Jashinist looked up, "myself obviously", a mirror in one hand. "Haven't a fucking dolphin told you it's freaking rude listening to other people's bloody conversation, blue penguin?"

Kisame paused by the new nickname, "…yeah… Isn't it better to have this…_conversation_…somewhere else than by the table?"

Hidan huffed, "You're just jealous!" and turned back to himself.

_Geeze, he's worse than Itachi watching drama.…_

Speaking of the Uchiha, having four empty bottles left by the table he walked around poking random people everywhere he saw fit.

Pein was sleeping, one hand inside one of the many mugs; Konan sitting beside him was making paper figures and figurines that looked oddly familiar to herself, which she happily played with.

Everyone, except Itachi, sat around their table showing a complete new side. With Pein asleep and Konan not caring much attention about them, the Akatsuki members had everything to do.

Kisame looked down at his drink, "Aw, its empty…I am going to get another one, somebody wants some?"

Crying could be heard.

"Kakuzu…are you okay?"

He shook his head. "M-money… s-s-s-s-s-s-s-spends!"

Sasori patted his head, "shh, it's okay…"

Kakuzu looked up with thankful though teary green eyes, "thanks Sasori. You are a really good-"

"Kisame, I want one!"

"-I'm going to kill you one day…"

More grumbles got unheard by the unfamiliar sight of Zetsu… eating a carrot.

A drowsy Ino look-alike asked, "Hey, Zetsu, yeah! Aren't you supposed to eat humans?"

"**Humans **is f**reaking disgusting! **Have you any **idea** where they come from? Who **knows** where they have been!? That's **why** we only eat ecological food like carrots…" he demonstrated by taking a good bite, "**though I have to** **admit**," he said crunching his sharp teeth against the vegetable, "**nothing is better than ecological people**- wait, what! Brother, have you been lying to me!?"

Zetsu looked like he wanted to kill…eh…himself.

Being too drunk to care about Zetsu's upcoming argue Deidara asked the guy right above him, "Kisame, yeah…why are you _blue, _un?"

Hidan snorted, eyes still glued to the mirror in his hands, "Took a Jashin damn while for you to notice, blonde bitch."

"I did, umm, I just haven't been drunk enough to ask, heh."

Pause, "hey, why are you calling me 'blonde bitch', uhm?"

Hidan, still not taking his eyes of the reflected him, simply kept quiet, as in waiting for something to come.

That 'something' poked Deidara's shoulder, and someone said, a guy by the voice of it, "Hey, sexy. Wanna hangout in the restroom?"

"I'm not interested." He didn't even look up.

"Huh, _why_?" the guy complained, "Babe, I'm going to show you a world you never have experienced before. My little friend here would really like to meet your… _womanly_ forms."

"No, thank you. I'm not interested!" He started to be annoyed. Did that dude just call him feminine?

"You have to turn around first right? Come and take a good look over me, baby. You will not get disappointed, I tell you lady."

His eyes flashed, and as elegant as a drunkard possibly could be, Deidara swung his body towards the man and asked, voice low and filled with anger the guy couldn't dismiss.

"Do I look like a girl to you?"

"Yeah…" He said without thinking, eyes drifting down to Deidara's thighs and up to where his chest was.

The blond man's eyes burned. "Do I look like a fucking girl to you?" He yelled, ripping the front of his shirt open so his well-trained chest was exposed to the horny man and everyone else that heard him.

The guy left soon after and Hidan coughed 'slut' at his side.

Deidara simply rolled his eyes.

"Well, that was interesting…" Kisame said, disgusted and shocked. Silence appeared.

"Eeek, what are you doing!"

Apparently, Itachi had poked a girl…right in the butt.

"Are youh harrashing my ghirl?"

Fist met face, Itachi fell to the floor. Then got up and left a very drunk, and a very angry man and woman, not saying anything. But he grinned like an idiot; Deidara took a picture (not the very best) for blackmail use.

"Hey, weren't you going to get beer, uhmeh?" The blonde man with an exposed chest asked Kisame, who nodded.

"Get one for me, yosh."

The shark man sweat-dropped, the drunkard reminded him of someone… Loud crying got heard to his right.

Hidan barfed, "Hey! Kakuzu, shut the hell up. Or do you have the monthly shit?" getting a growl and a smack on the head by Konan.

"Did I fucking talk to you, ugly bitch?" He got another one.

"I go now." Kisame said, getting enough by those two.

"Hey wait, yeah! Aren't you going to get the stupid partner of yours, unyeah?"

Apparently Itachi was on the dance floor dancing to 'Poker Face', sitting on a chair close by was Tobi who was surrounded by women…?

Everyone stared mouth open. "Is that..."

"…the freaking weirdo Tobi?"

"Yeah, yeah."

They looked at the bomber, "Okay, Deidara… that just was annoying."

"The reason why you have blue skin is annoying, umm!"

Kisame showed him the finger and sulked away, presumably to the bar to drown in self-misery and beer. The other members didn't really care.

They were busy doing…nothing.

"Oh my Rawr, he's stripping!" a random, drunk woman suddenly cried out, everyone else turned their attention to the dance floor. Song being played, 'Sexy and I know it'.

"Damn, I didn't know he has… Like _that_ body!" Konan used her paper toys to dry away the nosebleed that came. Other women around the bar did the same.

"Huh, I've seen better…" Deidara muttered, getting to his two feet and begun swaying his way to the dance floor.

"Blondes have more fun…" Sasori stated dryly from where he sat, pouting while staring at his hair...

Hidan perked his eyes off of himself and laughed, "…because they don't get it!"

Immediately many heads snapped towards him, hair colour being blonde in different varies and kinds, _death _oozing out from their eyes.

Hidan jumped to his feet, turned around… and flew out from the bar, laughing you know, Hidan-style. An angry mob revolving of Deidara himself running after him yelling, "Death, death, death! Kill the bastard!"

Kisame came back having a 'wtf'-face. The other members simply shrugged. Kakuzu was crying when seeing the many beers the blue-skinned man had, the other ones didn't really care. They shared when they saw the mugs and happily began drinking.

A very drunk, a very, _very _drunk Itachi Uchiha came to their table, hair out of the pony-tail in a mess and clear, red lipstick kissing marks on his face and chest…it looks like his shirt was ripped into shreds…

Kisame's "What are we going to do with Hidan and Deidara's?" became solved as the infamous Uchiha emptied the beers within seconds, to then to laugh as Goofy for the other Akatsuki-members fear, they swallowed under their breaths.

Outside Hidan's characteristic laugh could be heard, overshadowed by loud explosions...

"Kakuzu, you will have to pay-"

The crying was heart-breaking for everyone except for the Akatsuki-members that had experienced it far too many times, but it didn't stop Itachi to cry as well…

"Oh, sometimes I really envy people who can become drunk." said a surprisingly jealous Sasori.

"Yeah, especially when they end up like Itachi over here…" Kisame said in agree, the other around the table looked surprised at him.

"What?"

"You can't become drunk?" Konan gasped.

"Yeah…n-"

"But ya were drunkh last week!" Itachi exclaimed.

"I know…I can become it, but it takes a lot more time before that happens. Samehada drinks the alcohol from my chakra."  
"Ah, is that why he is trying to break down the toilet door?" Sasori nodded towards the bathroom door that…the sword actually were attacking… "C_a_n he actually use it?"

"Samehada!"

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Mohahaha, am I not an evil person?XD Could you picture them doing it? Hope you did...

The line Hidan said, before being hunted by every single blonde person, could be hard to understand...I think everyone will think of it differently so don't be...upset...if you didn't quite catch it...btw, I'm blondeXD:P

Please tell me what you think about this one-shot!:)

The review-button is below, *cough-cough*...Not a hint...*cough-cough*


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